A huge aspect of my “condition” is familiarity. For example, where I currently work, for my first year there, I literally didn’t have a casual conversation with anyone. I dressed quite formally, and I was pretty much terrified that I would make a mistake. These days I am massively comfortable there, even bold at times. No wonder Aspys are know for their work loyalty.
Last night I went to 2 venues that were new to me, The Croxton to see The Damned, and a goth night at The Sub Club.
Because the Croxton hosted the Eagles of Death Metal a few years back, and the same band was attacked by terrorists in Paris on my birthday, and the night’s band was called The Damned, I had it in my head that an attack was unlikely but possible. I spent a good half hour on an exit strategy.
I was drunk at Sub Club but not drunk enough to get loose. At a familiar venue with the same people and music I would’ve been dancing all night. As it was, I got loose around 3am for 10 minutes. I was verging on memory loss to get to that happy, carefree state.
I said this here 6 years ago:
For me personally, I get claustrophobic – too much going on in one place. When I enter a large social situation (rock concert, wedding, lecture) I will usually be against a wall and close to an exit – in case I need to escape. But these apply mostly to new situations. Repeated situations don’t have me on guard nearly as much.