My Asperger's Info

A big clue that a younger person is autistic is the wearing of headphones to block noise, like in a noisy environment.

A “problem” with autism is that as you get older you develop techniques and tolerance, and so you might no longer be able to genuinely say something bothers you.

Noise is a funny one, because you don’t suffer horrendous noise in an empty paddock. It tends to be associated with a lot going on, which is also the problem. Nightclubs in my 20s were especially problematic, because of the combination – crowded, noisy, smoky (I’m old) and social awkwardness. I use to bail out regularly due to my “claustrophobia”, the best explanation I had.

But also I love music, especially live music. I’d be in the top 1% of society for seeing bands, easily. And so I have gotten used to it. Best is when I find a dark corner when I am not in anyone’s way.

Noise bothers me but I live 10 metres from a busy train crossing, and the noise is up there. I have become used to it, as expected. The crows on my roof make a racket so I yell back at them. Many environmental sounds, like the beeps of a reversing car, birds singing, emergency sirens, I sing back to them. I own the situation.

I do still visibly jump when I hear an unexpected loud noise. I laugh it off. These days.

I don’t get stoned much these days, but I have been plenty enough to know how I respond to it, and one thing I have never understood is that compulsory Hollywood association with getting the “munchies”. No actually feeling hungry, but more wanting very much to eat something pleasing, like pizza.

Something I know well about autism is that I have developed coping mechanisms over the years. And one that began very early and sub-consciously is reducing inputs to a manageable level, like wearing sunglasses to reduce the glare.

For example in dangerous or violent situations I tend to be a cool observer, detached from the reality. The alternative is to actively care which would be overwhelming (for me).

So, my theory regarding the munchies is that it is there, just somewhat muted, as part of the general muting of all feelings and sensations.

If my stoned friends take me to a restaurant, I do become more enthusiastic about eating and I enjoy it more – so there are aspects of munchies noticeable.

Also, I don’t tend to be a fanatic of anything. That might be related

A “special sauce” to me is not a fun exploration, but rather a risk not worth taking.

When you reverse engineer it…

My biggest fear is being seen as different
Therefore I plan everything to the millimetre
Unknowns or changes destroy me
Any deviation from the plan is disastrous*

Ordering food is stressful and problematic.

If the menu is very clear about the components of the food – and all are agreeable = heaven.

If I need to change something, my stress goes through the roof. It’s not cool being the “fussy” person who needs to change things. But worse still, they often get it wrong. Often.

The number of times I have received a burger with mayo in it, and I have just walked out…

Burgers are better with sauce, I don’t doubt. When in the pics it looks white, I know it is mayo-based, and mayo is my kryptonite.

I love the concept of chicken burgers, but – for me – they don’t go with any sauces I like (tomato or BBQ). At home they are fine sauceless, but at fast food places, they are way too dry and need sauce.

Asking what that the sauce options are, and trusting their description, and trusting that my preferences will be adhered to… I end up saying “no sauce of any kind, please”, and I get a lesser food experience because the sauce makes the meal.

Special Sauce could be anything. While the proprietor might think it is the bees knees, to me it is an unknown and scary proposition.

While we are on the topic. I always ask for the meal to no include salad. I don’t mind salad, but getting it without dressing is t0o arduous. I get plenty of healthy food at home, my way.

Also, when I order burgers, if there are 3 things I don’t want in it, I don’t bother. Those things are pickles, mayo/aioli/mustard/unknown sauce. I’ve never tasted a pickle and don’t want to start now!

*a big plus about Asperger’s, for me, is that with time I improve. Life in general gets easier, and I fit in more. These days I am used to fears and disasters, so those words overstate how I am affected these days.

People who know me often ask for a strictly yes or no answer, and I don’t comply.

It is based on a fear of getting things wrong, or that people will misunderstand you. So the idea is to be as unambiguous as possible. Which means a deep dive.

For example:

Do you want to watch the All Blacks match at the Nags Head on Saturday? Yes or no please Rob.

But I won’t stay if I have to stand, and I won’t stay if it is too loud, and I won’t come if there is a family emergency that takes priority… but yes, sounds good.